Supply clerk and black sheep - another service story

Back in 1968 I was posted in my specialist role as provisioner and found myself in the PC&A (Accounts Office) of Central Ordnance Depot at Bicester. This eventually became the CICP and then DSM of the LSG based in Andover.
We were the first to use the new computer provisioning method named in those days System 2. System 1 apparently was the new but analogue method used by Technical spares at Donnington.
The cell was mainly manned by SNCO's, predominantly Sgts and headed by a Captain and WO2. I think we had a couple Cpls too.
It was a strange set up with us all, officer included sat around with our desks facing each other in a large open plan square surrounded by filing cupboards. Each Sgt/SSgt had a range of the inventory and was responsible for forecasting, buying and controlling their 'items'.
I had socks. Doesn't sound a lot but believe me I had quite a range of different types, colours, materials, etc.

George Patterson a SSsgt was one great guy. Always had a joke and a story to tell. George's items were gloves and greatcoats. Again various patterns and colours of the gloves because in those days they were just not khaki, many of the regiments had their own special colour. One day a Quartermaster phoned to complain about the shortages of his Rifle Brigade, black gloves. George answered the query listening carefully and making sympathetic excuses.
But the QM had a parade coming up and needed his Bn equipped with the traditional gloves.
George without batting an eyelid explained that the black sheep whose wool was used to make the gloves was becoming a rarity, perhaps he had noticed himself the scarcity of black sheep on the local farms. The QM apparently agreed and seemed pleased he had the answer.
No doubt he would pass on the same story to his CO when he complained about his men’s kit.
Believe me this story is true! I sat next to him when he was on the phone.
I think George was something to do with the Corps football team, and he was the manager of a Bicester team. Sadly George died a few years later.

Even when System 2 was up and running on a main frame computer, in those days every bit of information that was wanted had to be requested on a special input form.
There was a Forms Completion Guide about A3 in size and listed all the forms and how to fill them in.We could request a print out for stock level but it was only actioned on each nights run from the tapes the encoders worked on during the day. That figure though was out of date because you did not know what stock movement had occurred since the printout. Sometimes I even had to phone up the depot and ask them to have a look at the bin card so I could give info to MOD.
Once in the early days someone was requesting a list of 'dues out' for a particular item. There was a little tick box entitled 'Dummy Voucher' at the end of the transaction codes. We didn't know what it meant so we ticked it.
The next morning a messenger arrived with one of those 4 wheeled hand carts full of 'Dummy Vouchers' for every unit on the list.
It took a few weeks to get rid of all the paper without admitting our error.
We use to fill in many different forms in the beginning before we got the information we needed.
I went back to the DSM as it had become, in 1978 (ish) as a WO2. At this time we had got to System 3. I don't think it was until 1980/81 that we actually got a few PCs where we could get real time inquiries and they were centralised and we had to fill in a request form to use it.

The Queen visited Bicester in May 1978 and naturally we had preparations.They decided to renew the carpet. Now CICP had an enormous open plan floor plan so it must have cost some money. Apparently, to get it delivered and fitted in time, we only had a choice of what was available. A nice light buff coloured one. Yes, the colour that gets dirty pretty quickly.
They also built (apparently) a personal suite including the inevitable royal toilet in the conference room. We never actually saw it. The door was always locked, and all had been removed after the visit, and before the room was unlocked again. So we couldn’t have a look around (as we would have liked).
The SO1 Provision decided the two military cells should put on a display; Clothing and Camp stores. The clothing section put quite a nice display together, Uniforms, etc on dummies scattered around the section. They were tailors dummies of course.
My section, the camp stores, was tasked by our SO1 with putting on a cooker display. You know, Hydro burners, camp kettles etc, and of course a cam net hanging down from the ceiling to make it look realistic.
Yes, I was embarrassed to have anything to do with it.

On the day of the visit HM came into the section, and was shown the cooker display by the SO1. The look on her face was a picture. You know the kind of uninterested look she sometimes wears.
The highlight was a grand looking gentleman in dress uniform and gold aiguillettes standing at the back waving furiously. I looked around to see who he was waving to. It took awhile to realise it was me he was trying to attract. He mouthed a "Hello", "How are you?" to me. Followed by "Nice to see you". I felt a lot better then.
Afterwards the Section lads asked "Who was the guy waving to you Q?".
"Oh", I said nonchalantly, "That was General Stanyer", "An old friend of mine." I lied. But I did meet him when he was Brigadier and Commandant of COD Bicester and he inspected my unit when I was Chief Clerk of 46 (shadow) Company.
Made my day.

The carpet had to replaced again soon after the visit. It showed up all the tea and coffee spills and drips from the tea room to all the sections …
The story goes that they employed about 100 (?) extra civilians in the CICP to cope with the paper work after the computerisation. When challenged, when they were going to cut them back, some years later, it was said that they were now employed to meet the extra efficiency gained by computerisation...............

I think the first tour I had at Bicester between 1968 and 70 the civilians went on strike and the military clerks were called in to continue the issues function. We manned it for just two days and reduced their backlog by two weeks. They never said a word when they got back to work.
There was in fact no malice between the military and civilian workforce and we got on very well.
I enjoyed working there.
In fact it was the best job I ever had and I was sorry to leave there but I was told I had to take my promotion that I had earned! On this occasion I truly would have preferred to stay.
But the extra pension money came in useful!

Being administered by 16 Bn RAOC was a different issue and their regimentation took the icing off the cake. But by this time John Bollers was RSM which was a pleasant consolation. That man was a real gentleman and a very fair RSM.
His pace stick got stolen from the table inside the Sgts Mess which traditionally announced his presence.
After quite some furore and accusations, I initialised a special issue from CICP to the QM of 16 Bn of one pace stick for the attention of the RSM.
This little favour of mine created a lot of problems for me because the RQMS wanted to know on what authority he was to account for it. There must have been some friction between them or a lack of enterprise?
I was removed off the block when a MOD Release Note arrived on my desk. I still wonder to this day how it got there?

Yes, to be employed as a materiel controller at that level was a rare opportunity. It was after all the hub of global procurement and experiences the high level of involvement in logistical problems.
I had the body armour in my section in 1978. Other 'new' buys and Troop Trials I was involved with were in no particular order:
Plasticuffs and many other specials for NI,
Lightweight trousers,
New working belt,
The working pullover with epaulettes. (originally it was just winter issue)
Supersession of tinned goods to moulded plastics,
Personal Load Carrying Equipment (PLCE),
Supersession of Plastic Paulins from tarpaulins,
The new portable cooker range and
Lightweight Shelters to mention the obvious ones.
I was also about when Mr Rayner introduced his M&S purchasing system called 'merchandising techniques', and lived through the problems of the 'Moritorium' (thanks Roy) when all our unplaced orders were cancelled overnight. The three services still expected to be supplied though.
I wish I could remember all the names and dates though.

I was lucky in that as the Captains posted to DSM were often sent away on long courses and detachments, such as Watch keeper in Belize etc.. This enabled me to command the Provision Cell most of the four years I was in this post and was truly the most worthwhile job I ever had in the RAOC.
The onerous task of producing the Financial Estimates and Long Term Equipment Planning forecasts was now levelled at me.
We had to take all our forecasts and have them examined by HM Treasurer auditors each year. That was certainly a challenge.
It was incredible, we were justifying the expenditure of equipment the three services needed to do their job and it was down to little old you to present the case!
To come out with all you wanted was quite an achievement. It was a fearsome task the first year I produced it but I eventually became quite adapt at it. I learnt how to 'pad' my inventories which came in useful when the Moratorium struck us without warning.
Ah Yes! Moratorium. We also blamed it for quite a lot of other things that was convenient at the time too!

Another one of my 'new' items was the new carbon fibre combat helmet. It was not meeting its service specification and was forecast a number of years late for its initial deployment. Consequently we were running out of the old Mk IV helmet because we stopped buying it. However, we learnt that a scrap merchant had bought up all the 'surplus' stock. Yep, you’ve got it. We bought the lot back. It was a mountain of all sorts. COD Bicester was not very happy with me but they kept us going until the carbon fibre helmet came on line although I had moved on by then.
We use to buy Motor Cycle helmets to afford some 'bump' protection for soldiers travelling in the back of armoured pigs in Northern Ireland.
The NI leather glove also was introduced with padding on the outside to protect the knuckles whilst holding their weapons.

My SO1 use to encourage us to peruse the sales park lots closely. We often found stuff that was still current, some in short supply. It was difficult to claw it back even though we had no stock in the depot.
Thinking about it, I recall that sales often caused major shortage problems.
If we had stock surplus to the current years requirement it would be still counted as an asset and put back the next buy in future months or years, etc.
But Sales would come along and earmark certain 'surplus' stock making it inviolate.
Consequently we ran short unexpectedly! And it was difficult if not impossible to recover because of the lead time and lack of finance.